Yesterday my entire family (big bro who's living on campus here in M'sia aside) departed for India, where dad works, as the younger siblings are already on school holidays. The trip wil last tentatively around 2 months, but their return might get postponed indefinitely should the migration attempt work out. So I am effectively at my own devices now.
All alone at a quiet home is an unprecedented change, I mean, I have been left at home sans parents before, but never without the noisy siblings. And this change propelled me into realising the size of this world, as there's a real chance my family might migrate to India. And that while I sit here swimming in my simple-life-made-complicated with all its internal drama and crazy happenings, the grains of sand in my hourglass life clock are steadily trickling downwards, one way.
Why should I spend my youth toiling away at work? It's true the feeling of getting paid is awesome (just today I got my paycheck, and it's still only late middle of the month!), but what am I giving up for that monetary reward? The novelty of landing a big job is already fraying at the edges, and each day brings only more tearing to the initial hype. A girlfriend recently took up a UK work travel visa, enabling her to work in UK for 2 years and gawk at Europe, while I griped and fussed over the what ifs and the potential stumbling blocks. Making a solely personal decision and shouldering the full responsibility of the decision is something I have yet to learn to execute gracefully, Instead, I take que sera sera one step further, lying on my back thinking what will be will be, and if what will be is going to be that hard, then it's not what will be after all.
But the shaking up of my comfort zone - no dinners to come home to, nobody to operate the washing machine, no sloppy kisses from the sister, no comforting presence of company at home - did serve as a catalyst to shake up MY own views and decisions. How many times am I going to be young? I am determined and set, made up my grand plans, and will pack up my bags and tread the world!
Posted at 10:49 pm by Vivacia
